oh im actually studying..
miracles happens duh~
x) lOlz..

darling.. just wanna tell u.. i miss you so much..
and i love u so much
i wanna hug u so much
i wish u were here so much
i miss u cuddling inside my arms baby
i wanna snuggle ur face badly!
i wanna bite you!
c'mon pinch me sommore!
lOlz..
huGs!
lOve you sweetheart..

pauL-
your huNniE always =)

2:30 AM;
I made my mark

i. s.u.d.d.e.n.l.y d.o.n.t l.i.k.e m.y.s.e.l.f
m.y n.a.m.e i.s.n.t n.i.c.e
i t.h.i.n.k i.m s.k.i.n.n.y
i f.e.e.l i.m u.g.l.y
p.i.m.p.l.e.s
f.a.m.i.l.y - s.i.g.h.~
i.t.s c.o.m.i.n a.g.a.i.n
i d.u.n.n.o
='(

7:57 AM;
I made my mark

i wOke up at 12:05 thinking it was 5 :30 in the morning..
lolz.. quite early for a new day..

its killinG me.. borInG.. 1 2 3 4 5
5 4 3 2 1 2 3 4 5 4 3 2 1 zZzzZzzZz

i wanna scream! argHhhhaahh! shall do it at the beach tmrl.. goin to some challet with darlinG and Joe~ where i dont know anyone else there.. lOl.. well at least i know they're lian zhao's classmates~ =.=

im missinG you honey..
as Each day PassEs us~ i feel like i need yOu even morE..
like baby.. im lOvinG you deeper and strOnGer..
=)

lOve yOu wIfe~
!elynapaul

2:03 AM;
I made my mark

oh mY gOd..
@.@

11:59 PM;
I made my mark

volleyball..

its one of my loves..
but i wont be going training..
maybe i will but not so often anymore..

i've been thinking about it since the last few trainings..
i dont feel good inside..
at times.. i feel like im out of place..

im there to play volleyball u know..

maybe i'll be joining outside teams in future..
to all i those i appreciate knowing inside there..
take care and all the best..
play well people..

11:16 PM;
I made my mark

first.. its my mother..
what she said tt day frm the car when i was at the bus stop..

it hit me real hard.. each sentence each word.. they came piercing rite into my heart..
isit becuz again.. she saw me with my girlfriend or smt?
i mean what she say does'nt really make any sense..
did she say things to upset me in frnt of my girlfriend or smt??

my mother to me..
now's (well long ago).. she's like a monster trying to break me apart from all reasons that made me happy..

yes i do want a smooth life in future.. and im trying.. but does she understand that
without this love
it could'nt possibly make anything better in my life..

everything i treasure.. u try coming between my thoughts..
i wanna say "fuck bitch," so much..
but what do i say when you're MY MOTHER?~
what do parents really want..

you were insulted by some assholes on net..
i tried standing up for you all..
this's the first time..
but instead i got some discipline talks from u early in the morning.

"don't care what others say?"
"he might not be refering to me?"
Fuck that~ he's obviously refering to me!
he's pointing to u and dad.. shit

yes maybe i dont respect u..
oh yes i dont really call u and HIM when u guys get home..

maybe if dad and u come home tgt one day again.. i will call..

does anyone knows how does it feels to have a family
and he himself does'nt feels like he's in it?~

does anyone know.. what its like and how it really feels to hate your own mum?
u think i want it mum?
u think i like it?
but for all who goes against my thoughts im still saying the same..
fuck off..
please understand..
im sorry..

i know whats good for myself too.. in my way.. in my eyes in what i see.. in a way
that it is
my wish..

i love u mum..

10:19 PM;
I made my mark

wei sher mo..
why must there be obstacles in everything we do..
isit there so maybe we'll think twice before doings..

i dint see it comin..


there're bits here and there now and im trying to paste thm all tgt again..
i dont feel so strong..

my point?
its like.. i really hope to confide in u and me as one..
im feeling useless

u've hurt yourself..
i dint even know

what if u accidentally ..
this and that..
what if u died..

im worried bout u..

i'll should do the same..

life's nothing i wanna spend treasuring..
but would spend cherishing u.. being all with u.. really..

If death's answers to it..
i'll die

take care pp..

4:57 PM;
I made my mark

5 ulcerS! i cant eat.. i can hardly talk! God this is torturinG..
Drinking Barley all day and nite.. gimme ginseng what leng yang.. all sorts..

my tooth.. its growing out at the back there.. OUCH! its all comin tgt.. wth..
Poor shit im in-

='(

've got headach because of ma tooth.. my brains are recking and my body's aching like im alreadi 70..
im burning hot and feeling so cold inside.. madness..

mm
goinG dover for presentation.. some rehearsal.. have to cut hair.. nO waY!! hmmp!
if steven's gonna really kick me out.. im fine with it.. totally alrite yes..

I AM NOT CUTTING! BLAAHAHA! not cutting not cutting! x)
brulururur!! nOt cUuttInG!~
i bet if he ever see's this he'll be mad..

mm Good nite people..
good nite Darling.. love you.
good nite God..
good nite Jesus..
niGhts mary!
good nite mummy..
good nite daddy..
niTeS everyone! =)

11:30 PM;
I made my mark

baby.. i dont know..
as the days pass by..
as i think..

i predicted that i'll miss u badly..

i dont really know whats gonna come out in frnt of me next..
but i've always guessed it right
thats why i worry..
i hate it i really hate it when i think of it like this..
it always comes out in the way i could never change it..

i go dazin for hours wondering..
what would become of me
feeling alone.. so tired..
an empty space
my eyes could no longer withstand those needles and stiches
baby i close my eyes

your voices resounds inside my head..
i mIss yOu..

9:08 PM;
I made my mark

the other day.. like i said.. was kinda thinking..

i fell asleep thn..
since secondary school days.. i had this strange dream.. i'll dream of it say twice every year thn..
i made the same dream yesterday.. well not exactly the same each time.. but its around there..
its.. something i fear alot.. losing something.. a feeling.. or someone.. whatever it is.. its dearly to me..

and.. the wierd thing about this dream's that each time i woke up.. i would totally forgot whats it about.. i dont rmb a thing at all..

throughout this whole thing whn im sleeping.. i only recall me crying with full of sorrows in there.. somehow.. whn im awake i'd be like tearing..

that nite.. i stood up alone in my room.. still tearing.. i looked around.. there was'nt anyone.. it was pitch darkness.. i was wondering why was i crying thn.. im awake and tearing.. well wod was it for i dont know..
i'd really like to find out.. what did i lose inside there..

this thing.. its so real.. ="/

i feel so alone rite now..*

10:00 AM;
I made my mark

Firstly.. mm congratulations to Darling..
got into nursing at np.. yeap!
erm..
no need buy insurence for maself readi.. 've got someone to treat me if im ill in future rite.. kekes

siGh.. im v. glad tt u made it.. you've got all ma support yes..
at the same time, am sad cuz u're leavin to a different sch..
wont be seeing u in school and things like that..

had a quite a few thoughts today..
bout almost everything..
us? hrm..

couple of feelings i dont know wod to say.
well.. nvm..

some other stuffs i wanna mention..
've got so many shits im worried bout.. my tests.. my school.. work..
got to work more often cuz i seem to quite a lot this few days..
tried to save but .. >.< haha

school, tests? fuck thm.. im worried for ma own future and i don't know where do i start..

flash's deadline's on monday.. i dont even have its software.. fck this..
="(

siGh..
it seems like whn u've get something u wanted so much.. or maybe say could mean your everything.. you'll always need to give something in return.

i lOve u so much. pauL-

9:26 PM;
I made my mark